Currently 16 going 17 July 11th, 1992 TPJCian Ex-Queenstownian Ex-Fairsian Elemental Muse
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8:19 PM Just watched a movie with her. "P.S. I Love You.". A Summary of the movie taken from gv.com.sg: Holly Kennedy (Hilary Swank) is beautiful, smart, and married to the love of her lifea passionate, funny and impetuous Irishman named Gerry (Gerard Butler). So when Gerrys life is taken by an illness, it takes the life out of Holly. The only one who can help her is the person who is no longer there. Nobody knows Holly better than Gerry. So its a good thing he planned ahead - by leaving her a list of tasks revealed in 10 monthly messages that are intended to ease her out of grief and transition her to a new life.
The flim, especially the first scene reminded me of my many depressing past. Quote, "we won't last.". That's what someone said, countless times. One year of patience, torture, confusion, tame. ONE YEAR and counting! And suddenly, a new person came into my life. She got really amused by everything I do, became a very vital part of my aimless life and kills me, indirectly, in my relationship life. "You'll like me for a day, and start loving another the next." I was confused inside me. But I decided to act as if nothing had happened outside. Day-by-day, it continues to kill me, silently. The wound got deeper. I WANT TO SHOUT! I WANT THOSE AROUND ME TO KNOW HOW PAINFUL THIS IS! I WANT TO GET OUT OF THIS!!! This situation that have been emptying all that's in me. She loves me. And I knew that. Can you not keep quiet when I want to show concern for you. Yes, I'm an attention seeker. And so are you.Can you not pretend when I'm here to listen to your sorrows. Can you cry out to me when you're in need. Can you not lean to the right when I'm at your left for you. Can you not pretend that I'm not there when we're together. I want attention from you, but I also want to give you my attention. So why can't you allow me to? I love you too. And I know you knew it all along. My shoulder's for you when you're sad. My arm's for you when you aren't secure. My ear's for you when you are depressed. My mind's for you all the times when you're away. Though I've my "O"s this year, I will still try my best to be with you. BUT I HATED REJECTION AND YOU TOO KNEW IT. So why can't you just spare me a thought and stay with me during our very limited times together. Sleepless nights, avoids, silence, and not being able to let go the past got me deeper into hell. I NEED TO STAND UP! I know I MUST. And I WILL, slowly. But I need you. To get out of all this depth. To assist me in achieving my goals. To stay by side when I'm in need. ![]() For that someone whom loved me but have never allowed us to be together: No matter how many rejection you've said, no matter how bad you've treated me in the past, no matter how mad at me you may be, you'll still be my good friend. To Yvonne: For the fact that I can get out of it and be myself again. YOU CAN GRAB YOURSELF TOGETHER AND FACE THE DIFFICULTIES UP AHEAD!! Monday, February 25, 2008ISA TSD Practical MYE Assessment'o9 TPJChoir
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