My heart throbbing in my chest. I musn't be distracted by any emotional hindrance on stage! But then again. That message. That very message! That freaking message of hers. Get it out! Something will go wrong. Something will. Something will once I'm up there...

And yes. There's a technical flinch as expected.

Then again, I recalled...
"Do you believe in feelings? Well... I always do, and they are quite accurate! Trust it. It'll do you good." - says J.

Why must I trust something that failed me all the time?! But am I wrong again? Look at what happened on stage just last evening?! Must I trust that sound and do accordingly? Must I heed advices from around, and taking it as advices from above?

There was a story that goes like this...
A few traders were travelling through a desert. A sound came to them and told them to pick up some sand and place them in their pockets and then to carry on on their journey. They found it a chore, but they trusted the voice, so they took a little. The voice then said, "very well, since you've obeyed me, you'll find yourselves glad and sorry by the next sunrise." Puzzled, they moved on.
The next Morning, the traders checked their pocket and found that the sand have all transformed into diamonds and crystals and all other forms of jewels. They were both glad and sorry.
Glad - that they have gained something.
Sorry - for not taking more.

So, do I heed what the voices say? Do I heed the suggestions of those around me? What if they contradicts each other? Its a 50 / 50 gamble. The risk's big. What can I say? Like the traders. It may be a chore; having to face the challenges brought by the consequence of a failure attempt in a hectic college life. But, also like the traders. I may find it a blessing, to gain what I have always wanted, a shoulder to cry on that never leaves (as analogized by jewels).

Do I seek every possible opportunities I have in mind now? Or do I let it slip off my limited grip, thinking that I have still got plenty of time? After all, I'm still quite young compared to a middle-aged person.

Talking about the Armageddon...
I seriously doubt that my visions are to come true. Or rather, I doubt I'd even be able to see that. But whatever it may be, I quote, "there's absolutely no time left..."
Failing bodily systems have made me seriously weak over the ages. The will to consult a doctor grew though I still depend solely on high dosages of pills that I suppose are vitamins, daily. That's honestly, freakishly terrible. My right ear's bursting; my vision's going on and off; my stamina's deteriorating; my head throbs with anger for stress relief; and my muscles sprain at the tiniest movement I ever made. I've even lost the ability to even seat straight for an hour, let alone standing...

And now, I see this chance. Friends told me when to execute it. Voices told me that too. I shall trust it again. And if I were to fail, I'm prepared for the worst.

It's CHRISTmas-Eve. =)